I'm Sorry Blogger.

If anyone needs me, I'll be over at Facebook.

Thank you Aunt Donna!!

Joaquin Phoenix or Fletcher?

Stocking holders are EVIL!!!! If only PEACE ended in an F because that is why Fletcher was pullng his off the mantle- he "wanted an F for Fletcher". Thankfully the great doctor at Acute Kids Care glued him back together. Nothing a little Mederma can't eventually fix, right?!!!

He doesn't need any help.

Me: Cali, please help your brother go to the bathroom.
Fletcher: I dont't need any help! I can do it myself! Watch and learn.

What a little punk!

Whatever.

The Book Character Parade judges can suck it! Cali was robbed! Unfortunately she did not win for grade. (Apparently I am not only competitive but a sore loser as well)
I think next year I will be bribing the kids with cash to not participate in this event. I don't know if I have it in me to do it another year.

We MUST Win!!!

I have never been a particularly competitive person. That all changed when I had kids. Today was the Book Character Parade at Cali and Macey's school. Everybody dresses up as a character from a book and all the parents come and they have a little parade. Each class votes for the person with the best costume, and then each class winner goes before a panel of judges where they are asked a bunch of questions about their book, and one person from each grade is awarded Grand Champion. At least one of my kids wins every year. I have serious panic attacks each year because I feel so much pressure to come up with something creative and unique. This year was no exception. Macey decided to go as the girl from the book "Today I Feel Silly".
It was a fairly easy costume to create since we had most of the dress up clothes already. Everyone thought she was wearing a wig, but only someone that is in it to win it spends an hour rolling up strand after strand of hair in tiny rollers. I thought she looked so cute. She tied for first place in the class division but lost after a re-vote. Whatever. Cali was the best. She looks exactly like "Velma Gratch and the Way Cool Butterfly".
I woke up 3 times in the middle of the night in a cold sweat worrying about getting her hair to stay out. That's normal, right? She won for her class and I am now waiting on results from the grade...

Go Fight Win

I really love living in Texas. It has been a great place to raise my family. I love my neighborhood and I love my kids' school. I love the shopping and the food. And the people here are the friendliest I have ever met. So far we have avoided ever saying the word ya'll, never gone to a rodeo, and have yet to cheer on the Cowboys. One thing we have not avoided though is the whole crazy cheerleading thing. Before I moved here I thought cheerleading consisted of showing up to some Friday night football games wearing a short skirt with matching sweater, doing a lot of jumping up and down, and shouting "rah rah" every now and then. I was so wrong. Cheeleading is serious business here. Perhaps the most competitive, dangerous, and obnoxious sport there is. I had no idea. So when my girls decided they wanted to do competitive cheer I thought it sounded like fun. They belong to a gym that is very small and everyone who tries out makes the team. There are only 12 girls on the team and when they started Macey was the youngest at 4 and the oldest girl was 9. There were some girls that could not even do a cartwheel, and some that could do back handsprings. Their first routine was so simple and cute, and the girls could not wait to perform it in front of a crowd. Their uniforms were even more simple and make up consisted of lip gloss. All of us moms made cute little signs to hold up. Someone may have even brought a clapper or two. We had no idea what to expect at a competition. I don't think anything could have prepared me for what we were getting ourselves into.
Let me try and paint the picture. A cheer competition usually takes place in a college gymnasium or community center with stadium seating. In the middle of the floor is a very large spring floor with a curtain behind it which blocks the whole back half of the gym.
In front of the spring floor sits 4 rows of tables where the judges sit. There is a small area to the side where the music is played and the performing team's coaches stand.
The stands are filled with crazy cheer parents, most of which are wearing head to toe gym colors. There are a lot of moms with big hair, and a lot of dads that wear camouflage. Our little posters and clappers were a joke. Other signs consist of feather boa and lots and lots of glitter. And people get very creative with the noise makers. Lots of teams bring blocks of wood that they clap together, or have filled up plastic bottles with beads that they shake. There are usually 4 or 5 bullhorns, and always a siren or two. It is so loud in there. The most disturbing part of the whole cheer experience to me is what some of the teams wear. The skirts are so short that booties are hanging out, with shirts that only cover the girlie parts.
Hair and make up are unbelievable. Lots of hair pieces. And lots of glitter. I don't know what bothers me more- when I see it on a teenager or on a 3 year old. It's crazy. I walk around all day just people watching. It is very entertaining. And I am still shocked at every competition.
Our first year was a learning experience. The girls loved it but they never won. Last year they worked really hard and went all the way to Battle of the Champions in Georgia where they won first place. This year they decided to go up a level, which, after yesterday (they got 10th place) we may have to reevaluate. It is a little bit out of their skill level. They stuck their routine but do not have hard enough stunts to compete. I am happy to say that the gym they go to believes in modesty and building self esteem, so we have never had to deal with somebody not making the team, or feeling uncomfortable in a uniform. I am really proud of my girls for how hard they work. And I am glad they have something they love to do.

(This is all of the level 2 teams getting ready for awards)


(after the competition)


(Yes. We colored Fletcher's hair.)

Update

Ok, ok. So I'm not an "everyday" blogger. I am fine with being an "every once in a while" blogger. The important thing is that I update every so often- or at least often enough that my mom and Shannon get off my damn back about posting some pictures. So here is the update:

Fletcher had his last soccer game of the season on Saturday and here are the stats: Games won- 8
Goals scored by our team- 127
Goals scored on our team- 2
Goals scored by Fletcher- 0
Times Fletcher actually touched the ball- 5
Out of those 5, times kicked in the right direction- 2
Times Fletcher told me what a great soccer player he is- too many to count.

He was so funny to watch because he literally just ran up and down the field as far away from the ball as he could possibly get. The very first time he touched the ball it was only because someone kicked it directly into his shins. That counts in our book. I am happy to take a break until next season- it is a little bit of a beating watching kids at this age play any sport. Go Junkyard Dogs!

We had quite the Halloween this year. Cali was the cutest 50's girl with her yellow poodle skirt, Macey was the best Harajuku girl even though no one knew what she was, and Fletcher owned his hamburger (NOT cheeseburger) costume. I swear he put it on and actually became a hamburger. Every year we have friends over and eat jack-o-lantern shaped pizzas before we head out to go trick-or-treating. About 10 houses into candy begging, Macey comes up to me and tells me that she is ready to go home. I made her push through for a few more houses until I finally realized that she didn't feel good. She had a fever and said her throat hurt. I sent Cali on with her friends and the rest of us got in the car and headed to the kid's urgent care. Yep. Strep throat. The good news is we were in and out of that place. Not a lot of kids at the doctor on Halloween night. So to bed she went. And Fletcher too. Apparently trick-or-treating really took a lot out of him. He kept complaining that his legs hurt from walking so much and his arms were sore from carrying his bag of 10 pieces of candy. Note to self: start pushing Fletcher down to try and toughen him up.


Cali and Macey have a cheer competition next weekend and they are busy practicing for that. They have yet to do the routine to the music and have not been able to hit a stunt, but I have been assured that it will all come together by Saturday. I'm pretty sure it won't. Entertaining blog to follow.

Ben started playing ice hockey and I am so excited he has found something he loves to do. I have yet to see a game because his games are at 11:00 at night but I believe him when he says he "has a hockey game". As long as his fingers all stay in tact it's all good. Another note to self: make sure disability insurance is current.

As for myself, I took a couple of weeks off from running due to burn out, and am now paying the price. It's like starting over which is good and bad. All my runs seem very hard now, but I also love that I "feel it" again. It was a much needed break for me.

So that just about sums up the last month at the Edmunds house. I am counting down the days until my family comes for Thanksgiving. It's always a good time when we all get together. Especially when lots and lots of food is involved.

It's A Good Thing He's Cute!

After 15 minutes of begging and bribing, Fletcher finally played in his first soccer game today. Apparently soccer is only fun when you shoot at a pretend goal (usually the front door) and you score every time. Poor thing was not prepared for other kids coming up and taking the ball from him. Welcome to the real world little man. Go Junkyard Dogs!!!

So this is how I spent my day today- putting snacks and beverages in perfect rows. This is how I spend every Monday. I go to the grocery store (if you think this is OCD then you should see how I have to line up my groceries on the scanner belt), and then come home and do laundry which consists of putting outfit after outfit in Ziploc baggies. It's exhausting.

Trick or Treat

Mid September always brings the dreaded question of "What do you want to be for Halloween this year?". Dreaded because anyone who knows me knows that I can't just A. let my kids be whatever they want to be because it is usually not cute enough- or in Macey's case usually too frightening or slutty-or both- for a young child to wear, and B. purchase a costume that comes in a bag. Or if it does come in a bag I have to tweak it somehow so that they don't look like every other kid out begging for candy. I have a very hard time not making a big production out of most things I do that involves my kids. It must be in my genes because Shannon (Katalyn) is the same way. Go big or go home, right? So yesterday marked the first of many Halloween costume discussions. Cali is going to be a 50's girl with a yellow poodle skirt (the skirt HAS to be yellow), and Macey is going to be a Harajuku girl. However, Fletcher cannot decide on what he wants to be. We have narrowed it down to 3 and he is willing to let the blogging world decide his Halloween fate. Before I announce the 3 choices I need to mention the costumes that he wanted that were vetoed: Ariel from the little mermaid, the movie star princess, the giant mask that is as big as his whole body, and the ladybug. Ok. Moving on.
Here are the nominees:

1. Scooby Doo


2. Ironman (which Ben took him to see...bad parenting, I know.)


3. Superman


So there you have it. If you have an opinion feel free to post. 6 weeks and counting... On my list of things to do today- find a yellow poodle skirt and a tiny hat for Harajuku girl. It could be a long day.

Fresh Start

With school back in session I feel like I can finally breathe again. I absolutely love having my kids home with me all summer, and the first day of school always brings tears to my eyes. I have no problem admitting that I stalk my kids on the playground from my car for the first 3 days. It's a little creepy, I know, but whatever. Now that we are back in a routine I have no good excuse for not writing. I have been in a blogging slump for a while and am really trying hard to suck it up. I want to be the kind of person that cares about blogging. I do. I will try harder. Let's just call this the start of a new and improved blog.

I had an interesting conversation with Cali tonight about her name. I was curious as to whether or not she liked her name. Luckily she does. Apparently she LOVES her name. As a parent that is nice to hear. A lot of energy and thought goes in to naming a child so it would have been a little devastating if she had said she did not like her name. But being a girl I knew that deep down she wished she had a different name. When I was her age I really wished my name was Crystal. That's right. Crystal. Crystal was so much cooler than Sharalyn. And when I talked to Shannon the other day she revealed that she wished her name was Katalyn- pronounced Kate-A Lyn. And then she would have gone by Kat for short. How different life could have been...? So I knew deep down Cali had an alias. When I asked her she got a funny grin on her face- like how did I know? Her name? Emily. Interesting.


**The goal for the next blog will be to include pictures. Baby steps.

Weekend O' Fun

Ben's family invited us to go to Atlanta, Ga. for a little weekend at the lake. Ben and I decided that it would be fun to make it a road trip. Only 12 hours there and another 12 hours back- how bad could it be? We also decided that we should rent a mini van for this trip because it gets better gas mileage and we didn't really want to put the miles on our cars. So Wednesday morning I pick up the van. I opted not to get the insurance and spent an excessive amount of time looking around the car making sure to write down every last bump and scrape on the car so that we can't be blamed for anything. I spend all day packing and getting everything ready to go. Clothes, check. Toys, check, Movies, check. And food, check. We are off. It is 4:30 pm and very trafficy. About 6 miles out of our neighborhood BAM! We end up in a 5 car pile up. We are car number 4. The car behind us never hit their brakes. It was very scary. It took a minute for it all to sink in. Cali and Macey were a bit hysterical and I had to actually yell at them to calm down for them to realize we were all ok. We all get out of the car and wait for the police to arrive. Did I mention that it was 95 degrees outside? 50 minutes later (yes, 5-0) the police show up and get everything sorted out. The lady in front of us has no driver's license, no insurance, and did not speak English. This should be fun for the insurance companies to settle. I was figuring our trip was over at this point but the nice people at Avis tell me they will send another van to the house and sure enough by the time we got home there was another van waiting for us. We re-pack the new van. It is 8 pm now as we give this tip another whirl. Just a few hours behind schedule. So we're driving along and things are going great. The kids are sleeping and I am full of energy because I think I am still on an adrenalin rush from the accident. What else could go wrong, right? Well at 10 1/2 hours into the trip I decide to pull over and let Ben drive the rest of the way. I'm feeling a little bit sleepy. We stop in Lincoln, Alabama. It is a tiny town with one gas station. We get out and let the kids go to the bathroom. As we are putting the kids back in Ben lifts the back of the van up to put something away. Next thing I know he is walking to the front of the van with his hands covering his head and blood is just GUSHING from under his hands. He says he hit his head and it is pretty bad and we need to call someone. I run in the gas station and tell them to call an ambulance. Ben is ghostly white and about to pass out. He sits down and I hand him Fletcher's t-shirt to stop the bleeding. He bleeds through that in seconds. The ladies inside the gas station come out with a towel and he is able to get some good pressure on his head. There is blood everywhere- all over his face and down his arms, down his legs, puddles on the ground. I have never seen this much blood. The girls are freaked out. I am freaked out. Ben is freaked out. It takes the ambulance 15 minutes to show up. They look at his head and tell us that he has a pretty big wound and needs to go to the hospital to have it looked at. The hospital is 8 miles back down the road. To save a little money I opt to take him there myself. So now we are sitting in this tiny hospital in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. I call Ben's mom to come get us. He goes back to get worked on while the kids and I try to eat some breakfast that consisted of red bull and M&Ms. Luckily we beat the rush in the ER and it only took an hour for Ben to get his head stapled shut. Apparently there is a really sharp corner on the back of the van and he hit it just right and really hard. This is a picture of the damage:
It's a little hard to see the staples but trust me- they're disgusting.

So Ben's parents meet us to help us drive the rest of the way. I have never been so happy to see two people in my whole life. We actually had a fun trip once we got there. And the drive home was incident free. Unless you count Cali throwing up once and Fletcher peeing in his car seat incidences. I must say I am happy to be home. And I'm pretty sure there will not be another road trip in the near future.

Slowman

So the other day I took Cali and Macey and their cousin Bella to get their nails done. They were all very excited and each one seemed very particular as to which colors they wanted and what design they were going to get. Half way through Cali's pedi, her nail girl (we'll call her Ming) asks her a question. I can see on Cali's face that she has no idea what Ming is saying so I go over and try to translate. I believe she said "She want ma vi ba?". My answer: "huh?". Again Ming says "She want ma vi ba?". And again I answer with "huh?". It is at this point that Ming calls over Macey's nail boy (we'll call him Vee) to help translate. She talks to him in Vietnamese and then he says to me, "does she want chocona on her toes?". My answer: "huh?". And once again he repeats, "does she want chocona on her toes?". My answer this time: "Sure. She can do whatever she wants." I still had no clue as to what they were talking about. I figured she was asking if she could paint some kind of flower on her toes but I know she knew the word flower so I was very confused. But Ming got back to work and spent a tremendous amount of time working on Cali's big toes. After about 45 minute passed I went over to see what she could possibly have been painting. This is what it was:


It's normal to have snowmen on your toes in June, right? The best part of this story is that after I saw what was on there I said "Oh! You mean snowman." And then Vee starts laughing hysterically. He starts talking in Vietnamese to Ming and then they both start laughing. A few more nail girls come over and look at Cali's toes and talk in their language and then all of them laugh and laugh. Finally I said "Hi. Um, what is so funny?" Apparently Ming was trying to say snowman in Vietnamese but was actually saying sLowman. They all thought it was hilarious. And I still have no idea what chocoma is. But I am sure it is equally as funny. Merry Christmas.


PS. And yes, Cali does have freakishly long toes. I get it, Shannon. They look like fingers.

V and V

Top 10 moments from the weekend in random order:

1. Robbie insulting Shannon within 30 seconds of getting off the plane. We're moving on.
2. Russ and Suzy's story about ding dong ditching.
3. $100
4. Trampoline time.
5. The funeral story.
6. Walking upstairs to find that Fletcher and Macey have woken up our guest, and Fletcher saying "Robbie is a stupid name".
7. Everybody in the pool whether you want to or not- jeans AND apron!
8. Robbie telling me that the first time he ever talked to me I was dressed up like a bumble bee. For the record, I have NEVER been dressed up like a bumble bee.
9. CPK and Robbie Rd.
10. Birthday Bandits

Thanks for coming, Robbie. It was very fun getting to know you in person. And you made it home with all of your limbs. Impressive. Good times.

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

So yesterday my girls informed me that it is College Week at school. This means that one day they get to wear a hat with a college logo on it, one day a shirt- you get the idea. This is the conversation that took place:

Cali: Mom- we need to get some shirts and hats and stuff for college week.
Me: Ok. I'll have Dad take you later.
Macey: Mom- what college did you go to?
Cali: Mom didn't finish college.
Macey: Really?
Cali: Yeah. And besides, the school she did go to for a little bit doesn't even have shirts or hats. It wasn't a real college.
Me: (sad face)

And after sad face I proceeded to prove to my kids that I am still smart even though I may not have finished college. There is nothing worse than your own kids making you feel dumb.

It wouldn't have mattered if I had college shirts for my kids to wear anyway because apparently my kids are total kiss butts at school and HAD to have shirts and hats from schools that their teachers went to.

Just the Beginning

At 7:04 pm there was a knock on our door. It wasn't a salesman. And it wasn't the weird little girl that lives next door that watches us from her bedroom window while we swim hoping she can come over and swim too. No. It was worse. It was a boy from Cali's class that lives in our neighborhood. He wanted to know if Cali and Macey could come out and play! Like actually go outside and play. Without me. It was a gorgeous night and there were lots of kids outside playing. But why do mine have to be out there? They are nice and safe in my house- with me. I just wasn't expecting to have to make this kind of decision tonight. A little heads up would have been nice. Then I could have come up with an excuse as to why they need to stay home and play in the backyard. At what age should kids be aloud to play alone outside? I don't have a good answer. I've decided I don't want to be a responsible adult any more. But since I don't have a choice here is what I did. I walked the girls down to where everyone was playing and scoped out the scene. It was only 6 houses down, but it felt like a world away. It appeared to be innocent enough. I hung out for a little bit trying to act cool. Like I fit in or something. And then I took a deep breath and turned to the girls, at which time I threatened to take away all of their Webkinz if they even thought about leaving that area, or talking to a stranger, or going in the street, or going in some one's house. And then I told them that they had 15minutes to play and that I would be back to walk them home. And I walked away without looking back. Actually, I spied on them from the upstairs bedroom. When their 15 minutes was up I went and got them. I think it went pretty well. Maybe next time they can stay for 16 minutes.

Mother's Day

My favorite part of Mother's Day is reading the cards my kids make me at school. This year may have exceeded my expectations. I got 3 cards from Macey. The first one is a story titled "Me and My Amazing Mom". Don't let the title confuse you. It's really a story about shopping for a Father's Day gift for Ben. The second card is a fill in the blank page called "Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mom". Apparently my job consists of shopping and taking care of Fletcher. That's about right. And the third card is called "My Mother's Portrait". It has a computer drawn picture of me on the top and then underneath it has my stats. Name: Sharalyn, age: 32, height: 5.8 feet 5 inches, weight: 84 pounds (love this kid), hair: brown, likes: to clean the house, job: take care of Fletcher, favorite drink: diet coke, food: chicken pot pie and salad (I throw up at the smell of a chicken pot pie), favorite TV show: America's Next Top Model (never watch it), More likes: again, clean the house, cook, and go shopping. I think I need to cut back on cleaning the house so much.
Cali's cards were the best. I got a book of poems that she wrote. I need to share two of them:

Mommy

My mom is very sweet.
She is super neat.

I am her biggest fan.
She will never hit a man.

She is a runner girl.
She likes it when I twirl.

She does not like it when I crunch and munch.
My mother loves flowers in a bunch.


And the second one:

My Mom Is

My mom is caring and loving.
But she is not evil.
She likes coke and pedicures.
But does not like skydiving.
She is happy when we will not fight and we give her things.
But, she is not happy when we lie.
She loves her family and her parents.
But she does not love cats.
If my mom could do anything she would run and cook.
But she would not punish me by throwing a ball at my face.

I love my kids and I love being their mom. There is nothing I would rather do.

Simi Pride

I was explaining this whole blogging thing to a friend of mine and it got me thinking about how lucky I am to have grown up in a place like Simi Valley. It is crazy how a town of 100,000 plus has such a small town feel. Even though I moved away a long time ago I still feel this sense of loyalty to to anyone from there. It's like an exclusive club. There is a sense of humor that only people from Simi get. So it is at this time I would like to introduce another member to our blogging family. Please welcome home Jeff Barlow and his wife Amy. Amy is cool just for marrying someone from Simi. They have lived here in the Plano area for the last 4 or 5 years, and Amy and I were immediate friends. She even laughed the first time I explained to her how intertwined all of our lives are. You see, Jeff used to stalk me in high school (you know you did, Jeff), but dated Shannon for a while in college. And Jeff and Robbie are friends even though they had not been introduced to the famous Robbie Blog yet. Don't worry- I filled them in. I guess they are all friends with a guy named Garrett who I don't know (but maybe he could swing by the Mixer so I can put a face to him because I hear about him a lot), and I believe Garrett is also friends with Justin. Anyway, you can find them at jeffandamybarlow@blogspot.com and if you're feeling friendly drop by and give them a shout out. It warms my heart to reunite lost members of our dysfunctional family.

Ode to Cool Whip

Every morning when I ask Fletcher what he wants for breakfast he inevitably answers "Cream". That means whipped cream for those of you who do not speak Fletcher. And every morning I say "Cream is not breakfast. Pick something else." This morning though, against my better judgement, I caved and let him eat cream for breakfast. Have you had the new Cool Whip in a can?! It's delicious!!!! Anyway, after squirting out a bowl for him I decided to make one for myself. He and I sat at the table just talking and eating cream. He told me that I needed to try his because it tastes different than mine, and then he needed a bite of mine to make sure it really did taste different than his. We talked about how he thinks he is a real fireman and that he puts out fires at night when I am sleeping. We also talked about how he doesn't like to go to swim class because he doesn't like water in his ears. And apparently he likes Macey way more than he likes Cali because Cali hits him. 3 bowls later we were stuffed. I loved having this moment with him. Not only does he love me more than Daddy now because I let him eat something bad for breakfast, but we probably wouldn't have just sat here and talked like we did if I didn't "break the rules" for a day. I am such a planner and like for things to run as scheduled (I blame it on OCD), but this morning taught me that being a little more flexible would probably not be a bad thing. Life will go on even if Fletcher eats cream for breakfast.