Sunday, March 30, 2008

Bye, Bye, Finxy... We'll miss you when you go.

Free at last! Free at last!

Day 6 and 7:
Let us first apologize for the missing post last night. We could make something up that's really dramatic and shocking but truth be told- we were tired. Not because of anything strenuous or energy consuming. We were just a little sleepy. Perhaps it was the quantity of flourless chocolate cakes, 24 hour ice cream cones ready at your fingertips, coconut cookies, pizza, and the 3rd meal we always ordered "just to have a taste..." between us that made us a little lethargic. We will miss the hot coco's Constantine brought us every single night. With out fail he was there to make our dinners end a little warmer and cream filled. In honor of those weird Senior Wills you had to leave in the school newspaper we thought it would be fun if we took this time to leave our "friends" some things they might miss about us.
To Crazy Eyes (yes friends- we have pictures!!) we would like to leave you a cup full of ice and a bottle of Clear Eyes. And just for kicks we will throw in some jock itch powder.
To MTV we will leave you...alone. We promise we wont stalk you anymore and look at you like you are not of this Earth. Even though you really aren't. I'm afraid the pictures will not do your Milano skin justice!
To Abercrombie we will leave you a shirt that's actually from Abercrombie. NOT American Eagle. Trust us- it's much cooler.
To Slingblade we will leave you a years worth of physical therapy to help with your range of motion in your right arm. Move that little sucker sometime!
To our sorority girls (heeeaayyyyy) we will leave you all the pick up line deflecters you girls could ask for. Remember- when the Jesus Lives boys ask you what you like to do, just reply "burn bibles, attend our Satan worship mettings...." and you'll be just fine.
To Mr. Vick we will leave you some alone time for you to think about us. Yes we are married, and mormon, and no we will not EVER be into you.
To Big Boob's and her husband we will leave you an hour of sober babysitting. I swear we were just "sitting" in the bar when you saw us. We don't drink. Promise.
To Runner we will leave you with our Runners World magazine that you were eyeing. Maybe you can read it while you rehab.
To Slippers we will leave some taste. And shoes that aren't crocheted.
To our "friends" that really aren't our friends we will leave you a smile and some personality. Maybe even a rainbow. Because really girls- you suck.
To Turkey we will leave you with an actual wife. Seriously. Stop answering your 10 booty calls and find a woman with depth. Like us.
To Constantine we will leave you with some cream and 99%.
To Eva Monica we will leave you all the support in the world. And a million dollars so you don't have to go without seeing your daughter for one more day.
To Steve and Sue we will leave you an arcade with an air hockey machine that let's you win every time. You need it more than we do. We will leave you tickets to all the Cruise Shows you can cram into your very scheduled days. need it more than we do. There aren't words to express how grateful we are for everything you have done for us this trip. From the Unlimited Drink Card to the $191.63 spent on photos...we loved every second of this vacation. Well, maybe not every- but we loved a lot. Thank you!!

Thank you to all of our faithful readers and commenters. There was so much more than what's in this little blog but at the risk of losing our houses having to pay for internet service this will have to do. We have to save some of this stuff for times when we are around the dinner table. It's un-believ-able! Really. Sorry the pictures came before the blog but hey- that's the way the ball bounces sometimes. Carry on Robbie, carry on.
-Sharalyn and Shannon

Friday, March 28, 2008

Bzzzz.Stop. Invalid Card. Do not proceed any further

Day 5:
One hell of a day. Picture this: white sandy beaches, blue cloudless sky, prefect 85 degree weather, and Juan running to and fro as he fetches whatever it is your heart desires as you lay carefree on a lounge chair. Now- get all that out of your head and you will have a small glimpse into what our day was like. We got the Caves Sea and Snorkel tickets for our excursion and readily packed for another fun filled day at the beach. When we heard our tour guides say that "sunscreen is not necesary" - we knew something was up. After a 2 hour (2 HOURS!!!) bus ride through something you would see in National Geographic magazine we arrived at our destination. or so we thought. No, No friends- that was just the beginning. From there, we had to ride on a horse drawn train like rickshaw. We will stop right here and take a moment for you to read that again. Horse. train like tracks. Rickshaw. And a Mayan speaking (no English OR Spanish for that matter) "driver." Another 45 minutes of the most violent shaking ride of our lives. Is it possible for 2 grown women to suffer from Shaking Baby Syndrome? Because after this ride- we are pretty sure we have it. Our horse stops in the middle of no where. Is the horse sick? Tired? Sleepy maybe? Probably needs a drink? No, this is the "caves" part of the trip. We walk over to what can only be described as a hole in the ground with some stairs leading down into a watery hell. They kept saying it was an underground "river", but then again- some say tomato some say tom-a-to. 40 mintues of frolicking in the dark, freezing water and 1 panic attack later- we happily piled back onto our "thing" with wheels and a horse thinking the good Lord has heard our prayers and we are heading home. No friends, Sharalyn is with us and God has decided to hate on us too so it's another 15 minute shake until your head falls off ride to the next water hell hole. It's at this point the guide tells us to be careful, because last week a lady fell into the hole and let's just say "she won't be walking again." Strangely we opted to sit with the Mayan men and children and eat a popsicle like treat served from a plastic baggie. We are sure it was made in the finest, most sanitary conditions. But hey- we thought we would take our chances. Frolick time was over and it was sadly (and by sadly, we mean jumping for joy!) time to go. But how did we get back you ask. The same damn way we came. Horse horse. bump bump. And then it's back to the bus we go. "Lunch" was ready to be served. The bus driver poped the luggage hatch and lo and behold- there was our lunch! Yummy! Who said turkey sandwiches with mayo needs to be kept cold? That's not how the Mayans do it apparently. Or so Scott says. We decided to stick with the gummy bears and peanuts we paid $17 for from the boat. Mmmmm. Like we said- one hell of a day! We wish we had a fun story about dinner but honestly kids- Sharalyn might have to go to the Boat doctor to be checked for whiplash. Moral of the story? Next time you tell your dad, "go ahead and pick the excursion, we don't care..." you better think twice or your might not have a brain left to think with. It's still early in the night though, we hear there is a Teen Scene dance party at midnight. We are thinking of crashing it. It's either that or Gin.
P.S. we appreciate all the comments on the last blog. And yes, Robbie- could you please suspend your blog until we arrive home. We feel like it's taking away some potential comments. We would NEVER hate on THE BLOG. We know our role.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

You ready for bed cupcake?

Day 4:
Post blog activity lastnight included the infamous air hockey rematch we mentioned before. Needless to say-Abercrombie and Slingblade went down in a flame of glory. Again. Our skills were so good we were left wandering in the Promenade on Deck 5 while Steve and Sue were tucked nicely in their room playing a wicked game of Gin. What started out with us just wanting to enjoy a little quiet time with a coconut cookie turned into a full blown Teen Scene with us being right in the thick if it. Nothing like watching 2 horny 18 year old boys try and pick up our sorority friends while wearing size XXXL Jesus Lives shirts. We spent the night adding to our "circle of friends." Let us introduce you to Crazy Eyes AKA the boy who grabs his crotch for no reason. We saw him walking down the promenade, said hello and he nearly choked on a piece of ice. Not hard to do considering he had about 30 pieces tucked in his mouth. And then there's MTV. Our favorite "friend". He's only 16 but we swear we will see him on a MTV reality show in the next 5 years. Perfect milano skin, hair, lips, and attitude to match. He doesn't really know he's part of our group but he is. There's so many to mention we will just give you a quick run down of the names and you can do the already know Abercrombie and Slingblade but we also have "the twins' sister", "eighth grade", "slippers", "short's" and her girlfriend, "big boobs", "big boobs' husband", "runner" and we can't forget Mr.Vick. We were waiting for the elevator on the way back to our room when a really important looking man wearing a very important looking suit walked by. We asked him why he wasn't steering the boat and he informed us that he has a more important job to do than steer. He's in charge of all the liquor for RCCL. If we were drinkers- our night would have been made. For the next 2 hours we talked to this guy about everything from why he's divorced to possibly planning our next vacation at his home in North Carolina. Onto today...It was another At Sea day which meant hours and hours of us laying in the sun while Steve laid next to us in a coma like state due to the overdose of cold medicine he took this morning. We have some gnarly sunburns to show for it but when will we ever have the chance again to lay by a pool without worrying if our children are going to fall in? We soaked it all up. Dinner tonight was another formal night but instead of switching the beautiful gowns- we opted for our matching Hippity Hoppity Purple dresses. We even wore our matching beautiful Holy Mary bracelets we picked up at the flea market. God Bless the children that made those beauties. FYI- Sleepy time in the garden photos turned out better than our first formal night photos. How is this even possible? I swear we cannot take a bad photograph on this trip! Once again- God bless Mystic Tan!
P.S. We are sory if we have offended some of you by not checking/leaving comments on your blogs. But remember- we are out in the middle of no where and paying $0.55 per minute! (a little comment here and there would be appreciated.) Hint hint Janelle. Aunt Donna. Jared. Casey while she is hooked up to her breast pump. Steven. Jenn. Justin...and the rest of know who you are. We are considering a boycott if we don't get any participation. We bet you are all too busy leaving comments on Robbies damn blog. whatever.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

NFL (and no that doesn't have anything to do with football)

Day 3:
Holy Honduras. Woke up and got ready for a day at the beach. Bathing suits, check. Sunscreen, check. Flip flops, check. Plastic ponchos to shield you from the terenchal down pour, ?!? not so much. Old school bus picks us up and takes us to the "sunny" side of the island. Up big hills with zero regard for any traffic laws. Scared the hell (sorry Sue) out of us. No joke. Made it there in one piece only to be rained on so we packed up and headed back to the boat. But that a "flea market" we see? We decide to go check it out while Steve and Sue head up to Johnny Rockets. Or so we thought. That's a whole other blog in itself! Back to the flea market. It's kind of a mix between Skid Row and a feed the children infomercial. We decide to take it all head on. It can be summed up with this: Hondurus men LOVE us! Almost more than Luis loves Shannon. Again...possibly has something to do with the fact that we are so tan they think we are locals. God bless Mystic Tan. Picked up some great finds along our fast (think lots of big black men chasing you telling you how beautiful you are...wanting to take you home...)shopping trip. Back to the boat for lunch with Sue and Steve....or just us....whatever...(do we seem bitter?) and a quick dip in the hot tub where we started a Meet N Greet with every couple that joined us. It was clap clap clap when they got in and loud booooo's when they left. We have to give a quick shout out to the girls at Kappa Alpha Omega Phi who wanted to know what Sorority we were with. Heeeaayyyyy. (we lied and told them we went to ASU) Dinner's theme tonight was "Pajama's in the dining room". Wonderful idea if you ask us. Included sleepy faced photos by the garden. After dinner we checked out our twin pictures from lastnight and saw another "twin" couple who remembered us and said..."look, there's the twins." Sharalyn informed then that we aren't really twins to which the boy twin looked at his twin wife and said "they aren't really twins. they are liars." Good come back pinkie. It's been a blast making friends in low places. Hate to cut the blog short tonight but we have a re-match with two 15 year old boys from Arkansas who repetedly have told us that if we give them ONE MORE CHANCE- they can kick our butts in air hockey. Considering they thought we were only 17 and they both look like they could use some friends and a hot shower or two- we deicided to take them on again. Hopefully this game won't end with Slingblade and Abercrombie throwing the pucks at us again. Apparently they didn't think it was funny when we told them our children could beat them at air hockey. Blind folded. Like we said...friends in low places. Adios.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I haven't lit her fire for years...

Day 2:
AAHHH! Land at last, land at last. Got on a bus to Playa Mia beach resort for a cooking class with Luis. It was great- aprons, chef hats, and all the alcohol you could drink. We meet Luis and I think it was love at first sight for him and Shannon. He REALLY liked her. Maybe he thought she was a local because of the spray tan. Chop, chop, cook, cook. We actually made really good food. And the best part was the ambiance we were treated to as we ate our food. Let's just say it included Luis and a James Blunt CD. She actually got seranaded. It was touching. However, it got a little creepy when we caught him watching us out the window as we laid on the beach after class. Maybe there won't be a wedding after all. Apparrently "Twyla" and "Joan" had a little too much to drink because when we got off the bus back at port they literally fell face first onto the gravel parking lot. I am pretty sure they will be regretting their choice in excursions tomorrow morning.
Dinner tonight almost topped formal night. It was "twin night". Head to toe matching outfits. Not to mention twin pictures. The best is when people would ask us if we were really twins and Shannon would say yes at the same time I said no. It sounded like "yo" or "nes".
After dinner we treated ourselves to a photo viewing of formal night. We laughed so hard we almost peed in our matching outfits. $191.63 later (all charged to Steve's room of course) we are now the proud owners of some of the finest formal photos you will ever see. Viva la Mexico!

Monday, March 24, 2008

That's ok, I'll just have some of her cream...

Day one:
started off trying to run on a treadmill in a gym that was hotter than hell. seriously. skipped the end of the run and opted for some Bingo. Good times. The whole way there we had to try to convince Sue she could keep her temple recommend and this wasnt technically "gambling." We lost any ways so it doesnt really count right?
On to the hot tub- minus the hot. It was a cold tub filled with some interesting folks from Houston. Got out and quickly (and I mean QUICKLY) ran to a smaller yet warmer tub.
Went back to our room to get changed for the "Ice Show" Steve got tickets for. Un-be-lieve-a-ble! Picture this: a rink so small we could stretch out and touch both sides. 8 cast members wearing the following costumes during the opening number...
#1 Gypsy like girl holding a crystal ball
#2 court jester
#3 Black girl who stayed in a Tee Pee doing some type of dance you would see on BE.
#4 Homeless looking man (including a vest)
#5 Lumber jack man.
#6 Circus ring master
#7 a man seriously wearing his pajamas from the night before
#8 girl wearing a knitted cap and tule skirt with a half top. nice.

can you figure out how all these people make up a story line? yea- we can't either. The show got more weird with every "act." It's something you just have to see for yourself. Worth every penny of this trip right there!!

On to dinner formal night #1. Shannon wearing red dress and Sharalyn in the hoochie sheer blue sparkler. Shannon barely made it out the door because the sleeves were literally as wide as the door frame. We looked hot. You wanna know why we know we looked hot? Because "Erwin" the Head Waiter came up to us and told us so. We took some beautiful formal pics that even had the photographer laughing. We love the back to back shot.

Steve and Sue went to the "comedy show" but after Ice Odyssey I think we are all tapped out on shows for tonight. Stay tuned for more to come.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

And we're off!

Well, Shannon just got in town and there are already stories to tell. Two words: spray tan. Let's just say we may come back from our trip whiter than when we are leaving. It's always fun when we get together!

Monday, March 17, 2008


I remember the most random stuff from my childhood. There is this moment I remember so vividly with my Grandma Bea. I was spending the night at her house and it was raining really hard outside. We were standing at her front window just watching the rain come down. Grandma said, "Look at old Betsy getting wet." So I looked. I didn't see anyone. A few moments later Grandma said, "Betsy sure is getting wet out there." Again I looked. I saw no one. I was very confused as to why Grandma was letting "Betsy" just stand in the rain and get wet. And who was "Betsy" anyway? Could Grandma see something I couldn't? Did I need glasses? Or did Grandma need to see a doctor? I remember going to sleep that night very concerned about "Betsy". Throughout the course of the next year Grandma referred to "Betsy" on numerous occasions. Sometimes it was "Old Betsy", but usually just "Betsy". It wasn't until after she had died that I finally figured out who "Betsy" is. I was looking at some old pictures with my mom. There was one picture of my Grandma standing in front of her car- a really old red station wagon. My mom said, "There's Grandma with Old Betsy." It finally dawned on me that Betsy was her car. You can imagine the relief I felt that my Grandma was not this horrible person that lets people stand out in the freezing rain. I guess this makes me laugh because I too have named my car. Or Shannon named it for me. Back in October Shannon gave me a gift after we ran the Chicago Marathon together. She got me personalized license plates that say RNR GRL. That is when Runner Girl was born. I can't just say "my car" anymore. It has to be "Kids, go get in Runner Girl." Or "Do you remember where we parked Runner Girl?" And when it rains I find myself thinking about Runner Girl getting wet. Grandma would be proud.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Good Parenting

I can't turn my back for a second. It's also a lttle disturbing that he can't leave the house right now without putting his "hat" on. This kid lives in a bubble.

Search for the Perfect Dress

Next Sunday Shannon and I will be leaving to go on a cruise with our mom and dad. I wish I could give details as to our itinerary but truth be told I was not paying attention a year ago when Steve planned it. I am sure he's got all of our travel info neatly printed out and alphabetized and filed nicely in his new travel portfolio (thanks Janelle), so all I have to do is show up. I don't really care where I am going. It's a week without kids so I could literally spend every day in my car in the garage and be happy. Here's the dilemma: Shannon and I need help determining which beautiful dresses we should wear on our formal nights. There are 4 to choose from and the top two will win. I do realize that some are not quite as modest as others but my choices were limited. Also keep in mind that the first 2 need to be tailored so they will look much better after that.

Please help us out by leaving an opinion. I know the answer should be to bring all 4 (they are all so beautiful), but we are trying not to pack too much so we are going to share. And for the record, I was posing like that on purpose. I think it adds to the quality of the dress.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Let it Snow

One fun thing about Texas is that once a year it snows. It was 80 on Saturday and will be 70 by the end of the day tomorrow, but today was fun. The kids went out and made a snowman and then insisted that I serve them hot chocolate in the tub. Oh to be a kid again.

Sweet Cheeks

Fletcher is now a stander!!! He finally figured out that it is not necessary to squeeze his "pee pee" so hard that it turns blue. I'm pretty sure he is going to need Shannon's fertility doctor's number some day. There really is nothing cuter than a 2 year old butt in tighty whiteys (with a few monkeys).