Texas bugs suck!!!

There is a giant bug in my car!!! After Macey's soccer game yesterday I put my chair in the front seat of the car. Just before I closed the door I noticed something black on the side of the seat. It moved. I screamed. It was a big black bug. Big. And it had beady little eyes that glared at me. Macey and her friend Hannah quickly came to my rescue and the three of us divulged a plan. I convinced Macey and Hannah to be the ones to kill the bug and that Fletcher's shoes would protect them from harm. My job was to poke the bug with a pen. I had to scoot it out a little more so that the shoes could reach it. On the count of three I did my part and the bug moved to a reachable position. It was now up to Hannah and Macey. Macey backed out at the last minute (baby!) so now it was up to Hannah. She misses and the bug scurries under the seat!!! That's ok- we'll try again. Only we can't see where the bug went. After a 15 minute investigation we decide to drive home. The girls get in the very back of the car- they felt safer back there (babies!), and left me to fend for myself. I was terrified. I just knew it was going to come out and attack me at any moment. I swear I felt it on me about 5 times, and each time I jumped and swerved. About half way home I look over and the bug had peeked it's head out from under the seat. I quickly (and by quickly I mean cut off all 3 lanes of traffic) pulled over to the side of the road and plan "Kill It" went into effect again. This time Macey kept an eye on the bug while Hannah and I took a moment for proper bug killing training. I had her practice on the sidewalk. There was no room for error. Ready, set, go! Once again I executed my part perfectly- the bug scooted out in plain view for Hannah to smash. And once again Hannah missed!!!!! The bug scurried back under the seat never to show his ugly little head again. We just sat there wallowing in our feelings of defeat. Poor Hannah felt like a failure. And she should. She let us down. But I guess I can cut her some slack- she is only 7. We still had to get home so the girls climbed back into the "safe" seat in the car and left me up front with the monster. We dropped Hannah off and went home. I left the windows down and took anything out of the car that a bug could hide in. We didn't go anywhere the rest of the day. I just know it's waiting for me to drive to church today so that it can taunt me some more. I think I will take Ben's car.

Going Crazy!!!

Help! I need new running music. I would rather poke myself in the eye with a hot needle than listen to my current playlist one more time! Suggestions welcome.

Bright Ideas

Every once in a while I have a good idea. I am constantly looking for ways I can be more efficient and unique- especially when it comes to my kids. I thought I would post a few things I do that I think are good ideas (if I do say so myself), and then hopefully others will join in on the fun and post good ideas that they have come up with.

1. I am so sick of packing sandwiches in my kids' lunches. Recently I packed a container of cereal and a bottle of milk with a spoon. They loved it. It is now a weekly staple.

2. After Fletcher was born laundry became a huge issue for me. I would spend so many hours washing and folding, and then stacking neatly in drawers, only to find that hours later my girls had ripped through everything to find a certain outfit. The solution? Zip lock baggies. I now fold all the laundry and then have my girls come and pick out outfits they want to put together. I include everything that goes with that outfit- socks, belts, underwear, etc. Then I stick each outfit in a zip lock baggie and push all the air out. It's great- compact and organized. No more messy drawers, and packing for a trip takes about 2 minutes. My mom actually came up with this one.

3. When Cali was in kindergarten we started the tradition of bringing candy to school instead of cupcakes for her birthday. Each year my kids get to pick out their 3 favorite candies which I buy in bulk and then tie a ribbon around. This year Cali brought a Hershey bar, bubble tape, and Airheads Extremes- all tied with her favorite colored ribbon. Kids LOVE it! So much better than cupcakes.

That's all I've got for now. If you have any bright ideas,please post! I would love to read them.

Stripes, please.

So today I got a letter in the mail from the IRS informing me that we did not file tax returns for last year. I know this sounds incredibly irresponsible on my part, but the last 6 months have been a little crazy. To make a long story short our taxes have been completed and ready to send out since October (our accountant always files extensions- I don't know why. I assume he knows what he is doing. I don't judge him). At one point the envelope they are in was at my parent's house in California and then got mailed back here to me. Apparently I never opened the envelope and filed it neatly away instead. In the mean time I assumed my Dad sent them to the IRS for us. I guess not. The letter I received today is actually very nice. I will be mailing "the envelope" first thing in the morning. However, although a good little story, this is not the point of this post. I was in a hurry when I got the letter today and was only able to read the first paragraph stating a return was not filed last year for us. It was at this point that I assumed this particular piece of mail was going to require more of my attention than I had to give at that moment, so I put it in my purse to deal with later. A few moments later Shannon called and this is the conversation we had:

Me: If you don't hear from me for a while it is because I am in jail.
Shannonn: For what?!
Me: Apparently tax evasion.

It is at this point that I fill her in on all the details.

Me: If one of us (Ben or me) has to go to jail I hope it is me. That would be a good break.
Shannon: Would you spend 30 days in jail for $20,000.00?
Me: Yes.
Shannon: What about 60 days in jail for $20,000.00?
Me: No. My limit is 40 days for $40,000.00.
Shannon: What about if the government paid off all your debts- house, cars, business, everything- but you have to spend a year in jail.
Me: Yes. But it has to be like Paris Hilton jail. And I have to have ears plugs.
Shannon: Really?!
Me: Yes. It would be great. Here is what I would do all day: I would run in place for like 2 hours. And then I would do a lot of sit ups. And then I would write letters to my family. And I would draw pictures. Pictures of the outside world. And then I would got to sleep. It would be a nice break. Would you do it?
Shannon: Hell no!

Ok, so now that I have had more time to think about it, I would still do 40 days for $40,000.00, but I would have to have all debts wiped clean AND $500,000.00 cash to do a year. The question is: how much money would it take for you to spend time behind bars? Not prison- just jail. Think about it. I am optimistic that I will not really have to go to jail, but if I do I'm ready.

Snack Time

What is wrong with my child?!!! He may be the grossest human being alive. Last night as I was lying with Fletcher in bed he informed me that he likes to eat his boogers. He says that they are a good snack and that they are not spicy or sour. I told him that he is disgusting and that little boys should NEVER EVER eat their boogers. To this he responded with a high pitched squeal and told me that boogers are good for little boys to eat for a snack. And then he rolled over and wanted nothing more to do with the conversation. I don't know what to do. I have never had a booger eater before. Or a pee toucher for that matter. Is this just a boy or does he need an intervention?

We are the Champions!!

Just a quick shout out to Cali and Macey who won 1st place at the Battle of the Champions competition in Savannah, Georgia last weekend. They won 1st place at Nationals in March so they were invited to go to Georgia to compete against other National winners. This was such a big deal for this team because half the girls could not even do cartwheels at the beginning of the season. I am so proud of all the girls who set a goal and worked unbelievably hard to accomplish it. Macey is a flier which means she gets tossed in the air- perfect for her because she has no fear. She also has some of the best facial expressions. She knows how to work a crowd. Cali is a base which means she holds the flier up in the air. She is surprisingly strong and has even turned out to be one of the team leaders. Unfortunately I did not get to go to Georgia with them, but I know they had a great time and hopefully this experience stays with them forever. Go Gymstar Allstars!!!!

**Cali is standing directly behind the trophy and Macey is sitting to the right of the trophy.

Same time, same place.

As sad as I am that my trip had to end it's been nice to be back in my own bed (without Shannon trying to spoon me). It didn't take long to get back to the grind. I guess it was the first time I took Fletcher to the potty when I got back and noticed his new "trick" of sticking his finger in front of his stream of pee because it "feels warm on his hand" that I realized life just sort of goes on even without me. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that. I guess it's reassuring to know that if something ever happened to me my kids would be taken care of, but at the same time there would have been a little satisfaction in knowing all hell broke loose without me. And maybe it did and no one wants to admit it. Either way it's back to my "real" life of cooking, cleaning up after other people, sitting in my car for 5 hours a day, going to the dreaded grocery store, and breaking up fights. All of which I wouldn't change for anything- not even the life of a teenage twin sorority girl from Arizona. But it was fun while it lasted! :)

**I know the picture has nothing to do with the post but I just love this one of Shannon!!!! Best week ever!!!