So today I got a letter in the mail from the IRS informing me that we did not file tax returns for last year. I know this sounds incredibly irresponsible on my part, but the last 6 months have been a little crazy. To make a long story short our taxes have been completed and ready to send out since October (our accountant always files extensions- I don't know why. I assume he knows what he is doing. I don't judge him). At one point the envelope they are in was at my parent's house in California and then got mailed back here to me. Apparently I never opened the envelope and filed it neatly away instead. In the mean time I assumed my Dad sent them to the IRS for us. I guess not. The letter I received today is actually very nice. I will be mailing "the envelope" first thing in the morning. However, although a good little story, this is not the point of this post. I was in a hurry when I got the letter today and was only able to read the first paragraph stating a return was not filed last year for us. It was at this point that I assumed this particular piece of mail was going to require more of my attention than I had to give at that moment, so I put it in my purse to deal with later. A few moments later Shannon called and this is the conversation we had:
Me: If you don't hear from me for a while it is because I am in jail.
Shannonn: For what?!
Me: Apparently tax evasion.
It is at this point that I fill her in on all the details.
Me: If one of us (Ben or me) has to go to jail I hope it is me. That would be a good break.
Shannon: Would you spend 30 days in jail for $20,000.00?
Me: Yes.
Shannon: What about 60 days in jail for $20,000.00?
Me: No. My limit is 40 days for $40,000.00.
Shannon: What about if the government paid off all your debts- house, cars, business, everything- but you have to spend a year in jail.
Me: Yes. But it has to be like Paris Hilton jail. And I have to have ears plugs.
Shannon: Really?!
Me: Yes. It would be great. Here is what I would do all day: I would run in place for like 2 hours. And then I would do a lot of sit ups. And then I would write letters to my family. And I would draw pictures. Pictures of the outside world. And then I would got to sleep. It would be a nice break. Would you do it?
Shannon: Hell no!
Ok, so now that I have had more time to think about it, I would still do 40 days for $40,000.00, but I would have to have all debts wiped clean AND $500,000.00 cash to do a year. The question is: how much money would it take for you to spend time behind bars? Not prison- just jail. Think about it. I am optimistic that I will not really have to go to jail, but if I do I'm ready.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Stripes, please.
Posted by edmundsfam at 4:04 PM
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6 comments:
Like I said before- you are freaking crazy! You do realize that even in "jail" they have cell mates. You wouldn't be alone. It's not a little vacation. They don't have mango's and 100 calorie snack packs! Don't even get me started on the reading material in those places either. I doubt they have the current issue of anything let alone our favorite mags- Us and InTouch. And all that running in place is going to make you go batty! Seriously. I did find it sickenly sweet though that you would go in place of Ben. No hard time for him. I'm sure he'd see a few former patients from DD there though. A little reunion would be sweet don't you think?
I think I'm with Sharalyn on this one. I would do it but there would have to be a steep price. I would do it for lifetime Laker season seats on the floor for Scott and I. A chunk of cash might be nice also. I think it would also depend on where you do the time. The people serving time in St George pick up trash along the freeway ALL the time and a few months ago I actually saw a crew of them taking a lunch break outside of Subway!! Can you believe that? Inmates just eating a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki sandwich like they were just normal people except for the guard sitting there with a gun watching them. Only in St George. While in the slammer I would write a book about my experience and then get it published upon release.
P.S. It's nice to have you back.
Hmmm, should I say it? Oh, it's Sharalyn's blog so it's OK! I can say anything here - 30 days might be okay if all my debts were paid off, but a year? I mean, no visits with hubby for a year? Sharalyn, you're younger than me, but you should be finding out that a woman's "peak" is in her 30's and you don't want to miss that because you're sitting in jail!
After reading Jennifers comment below- I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Well, considering Nathan, David and even Phillip have spent time behind bars, I have heard enough to know that no amount of $$ would be sufficient. However a break from the ole' hubby might actually be a nice thing. You know that whole 30's peak doesn't apply to me. ;) So what the heck, bring it on! It's cheaper than an apartment.
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