Weekend O' Fun

Ben's family invited us to go to Atlanta, Ga. for a little weekend at the lake. Ben and I decided that it would be fun to make it a road trip. Only 12 hours there and another 12 hours back- how bad could it be? We also decided that we should rent a mini van for this trip because it gets better gas mileage and we didn't really want to put the miles on our cars. So Wednesday morning I pick up the van. I opted not to get the insurance and spent an excessive amount of time looking around the car making sure to write down every last bump and scrape on the car so that we can't be blamed for anything. I spend all day packing and getting everything ready to go. Clothes, check. Toys, check, Movies, check. And food, check. We are off. It is 4:30 pm and very trafficy. About 6 miles out of our neighborhood BAM! We end up in a 5 car pile up. We are car number 4. The car behind us never hit their brakes. It was very scary. It took a minute for it all to sink in. Cali and Macey were a bit hysterical and I had to actually yell at them to calm down for them to realize we were all ok. We all get out of the car and wait for the police to arrive. Did I mention that it was 95 degrees outside? 50 minutes later (yes, 5-0) the police show up and get everything sorted out. The lady in front of us has no driver's license, no insurance, and did not speak English. This should be fun for the insurance companies to settle. I was figuring our trip was over at this point but the nice people at Avis tell me they will send another van to the house and sure enough by the time we got home there was another van waiting for us. We re-pack the new van. It is 8 pm now as we give this tip another whirl. Just a few hours behind schedule. So we're driving along and things are going great. The kids are sleeping and I am full of energy because I think I am still on an adrenalin rush from the accident. What else could go wrong, right? Well at 10 1/2 hours into the trip I decide to pull over and let Ben drive the rest of the way. I'm feeling a little bit sleepy. We stop in Lincoln, Alabama. It is a tiny town with one gas station. We get out and let the kids go to the bathroom. As we are putting the kids back in Ben lifts the back of the van up to put something away. Next thing I know he is walking to the front of the van with his hands covering his head and blood is just GUSHING from under his hands. He says he hit his head and it is pretty bad and we need to call someone. I run in the gas station and tell them to call an ambulance. Ben is ghostly white and about to pass out. He sits down and I hand him Fletcher's t-shirt to stop the bleeding. He bleeds through that in seconds. The ladies inside the gas station come out with a towel and he is able to get some good pressure on his head. There is blood everywhere- all over his face and down his arms, down his legs, puddles on the ground. I have never seen this much blood. The girls are freaked out. I am freaked out. Ben is freaked out. It takes the ambulance 15 minutes to show up. They look at his head and tell us that he has a pretty big wound and needs to go to the hospital to have it looked at. The hospital is 8 miles back down the road. To save a little money I opt to take him there myself. So now we are sitting in this tiny hospital in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. I call Ben's mom to come get us. He goes back to get worked on while the kids and I try to eat some breakfast that consisted of red bull and M&Ms. Luckily we beat the rush in the ER and it only took an hour for Ben to get his head stapled shut. Apparently there is a really sharp corner on the back of the van and he hit it just right and really hard. This is a picture of the damage:
It's a little hard to see the staples but trust me- they're disgusting.

So Ben's parents meet us to help us drive the rest of the way. I have never been so happy to see two people in my whole life. We actually had a fun trip once we got there. And the drive home was incident free. Unless you count Cali throwing up once and Fletcher peeing in his car seat incidences. I must say I am happy to be home. And I'm pretty sure there will not be another road trip in the near future.

Slowman

So the other day I took Cali and Macey and their cousin Bella to get their nails done. They were all very excited and each one seemed very particular as to which colors they wanted and what design they were going to get. Half way through Cali's pedi, her nail girl (we'll call her Ming) asks her a question. I can see on Cali's face that she has no idea what Ming is saying so I go over and try to translate. I believe she said "She want ma vi ba?". My answer: "huh?". Again Ming says "She want ma vi ba?". And again I answer with "huh?". It is at this point that Ming calls over Macey's nail boy (we'll call him Vee) to help translate. She talks to him in Vietnamese and then he says to me, "does she want chocona on her toes?". My answer: "huh?". And once again he repeats, "does she want chocona on her toes?". My answer this time: "Sure. She can do whatever she wants." I still had no clue as to what they were talking about. I figured she was asking if she could paint some kind of flower on her toes but I know she knew the word flower so I was very confused. But Ming got back to work and spent a tremendous amount of time working on Cali's big toes. After about 45 minute passed I went over to see what she could possibly have been painting. This is what it was:


It's normal to have snowmen on your toes in June, right? The best part of this story is that after I saw what was on there I said "Oh! You mean snowman." And then Vee starts laughing hysterically. He starts talking in Vietnamese to Ming and then they both start laughing. A few more nail girls come over and look at Cali's toes and talk in their language and then all of them laugh and laugh. Finally I said "Hi. Um, what is so funny?" Apparently Ming was trying to say snowman in Vietnamese but was actually saying sLowman. They all thought it was hilarious. And I still have no idea what chocoma is. But I am sure it is equally as funny. Merry Christmas.


PS. And yes, Cali does have freakishly long toes. I get it, Shannon. They look like fingers.

V and V

Top 10 moments from the weekend in random order:

1. Robbie insulting Shannon within 30 seconds of getting off the plane. We're moving on.
2. Russ and Suzy's story about ding dong ditching.
3. $100
4. Trampoline time.
5. The funeral story.
6. Walking upstairs to find that Fletcher and Macey have woken up our guest, and Fletcher saying "Robbie is a stupid name".
7. Everybody in the pool whether you want to or not- jeans AND apron!
8. Robbie telling me that the first time he ever talked to me I was dressed up like a bumble bee. For the record, I have NEVER been dressed up like a bumble bee.
9. CPK and Robbie Rd.
10. Birthday Bandits

Thanks for coming, Robbie. It was very fun getting to know you in person. And you made it home with all of your limbs. Impressive. Good times.

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

So yesterday my girls informed me that it is College Week at school. This means that one day they get to wear a hat with a college logo on it, one day a shirt- you get the idea. This is the conversation that took place:

Cali: Mom- we need to get some shirts and hats and stuff for college week.
Me: Ok. I'll have Dad take you later.
Macey: Mom- what college did you go to?
Cali: Mom didn't finish college.
Macey: Really?
Cali: Yeah. And besides, the school she did go to for a little bit doesn't even have shirts or hats. It wasn't a real college.
Me: (sad face)

And after sad face I proceeded to prove to my kids that I am still smart even though I may not have finished college. There is nothing worse than your own kids making you feel dumb.

It wouldn't have mattered if I had college shirts for my kids to wear anyway because apparently my kids are total kiss butts at school and HAD to have shirts and hats from schools that their teachers went to.

Just the Beginning

At 7:04 pm there was a knock on our door. It wasn't a salesman. And it wasn't the weird little girl that lives next door that watches us from her bedroom window while we swim hoping she can come over and swim too. No. It was worse. It was a boy from Cali's class that lives in our neighborhood. He wanted to know if Cali and Macey could come out and play! Like actually go outside and play. Without me. It was a gorgeous night and there were lots of kids outside playing. But why do mine have to be out there? They are nice and safe in my house- with me. I just wasn't expecting to have to make this kind of decision tonight. A little heads up would have been nice. Then I could have come up with an excuse as to why they need to stay home and play in the backyard. At what age should kids be aloud to play alone outside? I don't have a good answer. I've decided I don't want to be a responsible adult any more. But since I don't have a choice here is what I did. I walked the girls down to where everyone was playing and scoped out the scene. It was only 6 houses down, but it felt like a world away. It appeared to be innocent enough. I hung out for a little bit trying to act cool. Like I fit in or something. And then I took a deep breath and turned to the girls, at which time I threatened to take away all of their Webkinz if they even thought about leaving that area, or talking to a stranger, or going in the street, or going in some one's house. And then I told them that they had 15minutes to play and that I would be back to walk them home. And I walked away without looking back. Actually, I spied on them from the upstairs bedroom. When their 15 minutes was up I went and got them. I think it went pretty well. Maybe next time they can stay for 16 minutes.

Mother's Day

My favorite part of Mother's Day is reading the cards my kids make me at school. This year may have exceeded my expectations. I got 3 cards from Macey. The first one is a story titled "Me and My Amazing Mom". Don't let the title confuse you. It's really a story about shopping for a Father's Day gift for Ben. The second card is a fill in the blank page called "Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mom". Apparently my job consists of shopping and taking care of Fletcher. That's about right. And the third card is called "My Mother's Portrait". It has a computer drawn picture of me on the top and then underneath it has my stats. Name: Sharalyn, age: 32, height: 5.8 feet 5 inches, weight: 84 pounds (love this kid), hair: brown, likes: to clean the house, job: take care of Fletcher, favorite drink: diet coke, food: chicken pot pie and salad (I throw up at the smell of a chicken pot pie), favorite TV show: America's Next Top Model (never watch it), More likes: again, clean the house, cook, and go shopping. I think I need to cut back on cleaning the house so much.
Cali's cards were the best. I got a book of poems that she wrote. I need to share two of them:

Mommy

My mom is very sweet.
She is super neat.

I am her biggest fan.
She will never hit a man.

She is a runner girl.
She likes it when I twirl.

She does not like it when I crunch and munch.
My mother loves flowers in a bunch.


And the second one:

My Mom Is

My mom is caring and loving.
But she is not evil.
She likes coke and pedicures.
But does not like skydiving.
She is happy when we will not fight and we give her things.
But, she is not happy when we lie.
She loves her family and her parents.
But she does not love cats.
If my mom could do anything she would run and cook.
But she would not punish me by throwing a ball at my face.

I love my kids and I love being their mom. There is nothing I would rather do.

Simi Pride

I was explaining this whole blogging thing to a friend of mine and it got me thinking about how lucky I am to have grown up in a place like Simi Valley. It is crazy how a town of 100,000 plus has such a small town feel. Even though I moved away a long time ago I still feel this sense of loyalty to to anyone from there. It's like an exclusive club. There is a sense of humor that only people from Simi get. So it is at this time I would like to introduce another member to our blogging family. Please welcome home Jeff Barlow and his wife Amy. Amy is cool just for marrying someone from Simi. They have lived here in the Plano area for the last 4 or 5 years, and Amy and I were immediate friends. She even laughed the first time I explained to her how intertwined all of our lives are. You see, Jeff used to stalk me in high school (you know you did, Jeff), but dated Shannon for a while in college. And Jeff and Robbie are friends even though they had not been introduced to the famous Robbie Blog yet. Don't worry- I filled them in. I guess they are all friends with a guy named Garrett who I don't know (but maybe he could swing by the Mixer so I can put a face to him because I hear about him a lot), and I believe Garrett is also friends with Justin. Anyway, you can find them at jeffandamybarlow@blogspot.com and if you're feeling friendly drop by and give them a shout out. It warms my heart to reunite lost members of our dysfunctional family.